Here is our new prayer card photo, we have prints for anyone who wants one or I can email it to you.

A Traveling Circus

I wrote this two weeks ago but did not get an opportunity to post it. We did delay our travel plans but still got to see almost everyone we wanted to see in the Seattle area. We still have a lot of traveling and visiting to do, so most of what I wrote still applies. And at the moment getting to sit down and write something happens rarely, so why waste a perfectly good, mostly finished post.

The day is halfway and my children are watching a DVD. Again. I am scrambling to pack clothes, sort through our foodstuff and make sure that I have toys and snacks somewhere that I can reach it. See, we are on our way again. This time we are heading to the west coast of the US. Except that there is a tremendous amount of snow everywhere on every road and we don’t really feel comfortable driving in these conditions with our children. This is the only week-end in which we can see a very dear friend of ours. He is an old China hand as well and is planning to drive up to Seattle to see us. If we get there. So, while Karl runs some last errands (we hope) before we leave for the coast, I shoveled snow for the first time in my life and yelled at each of my children numerous times already. I hate traveling. Really, I do. I hate having to try and get ready, with all of our dietary restrictions and consequent food boxes. I hate the long time in the car with my children complaining, crying or shrieking at the top of their lungs. I hate having to stay in a new place every four nights. And as much as I am blessed by seeing different people every day and catching up on all that happened in the past three years, I do not enjoy having to navigate conversations while keeping my kids from destroying the house of our host, because yet again they are not sure what the boundaries of this new place are. And besides the boundary issue, they just act up in general. Look, my children are probably wilder than the average American child, what with growing up in the Wild West, I realize that. But, they are not brats. And when we travel, they act like brats. They throw tantrums, are purposely disobedient, cry, scream, whine and speak disrespectfully… or more so than what they usually do. Some days they are sweet and charming, because they both like making new friends, but not being stable does take a toll on them.  I try to keep perspective and not cave under my perceived pressure of other people’s judgment. I try to remember that my worth as a person and parent is not dependent on my children’s behavior and I try to not flip out myself. But some days I crack a little. Today is one of those days. So now I am taking a minute to breathe, drink some tea, write and get perspective. I pray that Father will take my heart and remind me that I am not a raving, yelling, angry lunatic, but that I am a loving, caring mother. I need His help to calm my frazzled nerves and be the calming presence my children need to help them through this transition to the new place, new people and new experiences. I need to thrive and rest, today, in this craziness so that my children can thrive.

So, if we visit you and my children’s behavior leaves much to desired, please be patient with them. They miss our home. They miss their Nana and Papa’s home. They are transitioning.  And if you can spare a prayer for them, please do.

Awakening to Reality

Three Saturdays ago we were on the last day of our "there and back again" visa run. It was a loooong day, but I felt mostly good, even praying in my heart as we drove through the beautiful valleys that our accidental detour took us on. We have driven on the road we were supposed to take so many times before, but there is so much construction and we lost the landmark to the turn off, so we completely missed it and found ourselves on our merry way to Lijiang, the nearest town to us, but in a slightly different direction than Shangri-La itself. Oh well, longer, but less mining trucks and the road actually has a shoulder, which is a huge bonus, seeing that Chinese roads are built about a meter off the ground. The last hour of our trip was a little less fun, with Alianna screaming from the back "my bum hurts, my bum hurts, I want to be home, I want to stop (seriously, you cannot have both, but this does not compute in the mind of a travel weary five year old) and Ezra just doing his banshee shriek because he wanted to say the same as Alianna, but cannot speak yet. So, I was not a happy mama when we finally got home, but we were safe, which is a huge grace.

On the Sunday I found myself tired, cold and mad. At God. Because that makes a lot of sense. Our good friends stopped by to say hello and ended up staying for lunch and most of the afternoon. At one point I blew up with my annoyance at how I feel God is ruining my life. Making promises of healing, guidance and provision and then just not making good on them. My daughter's skin is worse than ever, we have blown through our savings with having to make these idiot visa runs (and hello, He hasn't provided a visa yet!) and He is basically as talkative as a stone when it comes to guidance. Bless Phil and Bren, they are so gracious. They listened, saw through the anger to have compassion with my pain and disillusionment. I would probably loose my faith if not for saints like these. In the end it turns out that God is hard at work chiseling away at my idol. The one I made and called "God". The one that makes everything tick along smoothly and do what I ask after I do my version of killing a chicken, doing a rain dance or making a pilgrimage. Turns out I am more animistic than I thought. And God, the real God? Well, turns out that He is a lot less predictable than I hoped. What with not being stuck in time, having an eternal perspective and being a lot less selfish than me. Also, He is a lot more faithful than I bargained for. I have prayed so many times in the past that I want my life to be reflective of who He is. I want to experience the fulness of a real, living relationship with Him. I want to live a sacrificial life, a life in a sharing community. But to experience that, so much of my way of thinking (and consequently my way of living) needs to change. I would love to see the signs and wonders of Acts (especially when it really benefits me or the ones I love), but I realise that the thing that changed the world right from the beginning was how the Christ-followers loved and cared for each other. And a greater sign of power is the wonder of a new heart, a new nature and a new inheritance. Somehow through all the un-fun things that I experience, He is making the freedom Christ died for a reality in my life. Freeing me from my debilitating fear of what others think, from the despair of feeling that I have nothing to show for my life and all the things I "feel" I sacrificed (what, after all, did Jesus have to show at the end of His?) and from the hopelessness of the deep pits that my immaturity and issues bring in my life and the lives of those around me, especially my children.

So, to make a long story short, I feel better. It only took a few days and several tantrums... and a few ups and downs over the past three weeks, but I feel a bit more back on track. Grace alone. Thank God He does not loose His temper and leave me the heck alone like I have asked Him to do so many times. Thank God that He is the only God who calls the prodigal home, who always forgives and restores. And always, always brings hope, even when my circumstances scream "HOPELESS!!". Most times I don't experience this as reality, but it doesn't change what is. So, I guess most of life is a process of growing into what is already true, what has already changed, what has already been accomplished. I think. Or something like that.  

Now I am trying to maintain some sense of peace while I frantically do laundry, clean our house and pack for our big trip to the US. We will be in Coeur d'Alene in December, then in Park City around New Year's and a little after that. We also plan trips to eastern and western Washington, but are not sure about dates yet. In there somewhere Karl also plans to go to Denver. We fly back out to China at the end of February. We still need a vehicle for our time in the US, so if anybody has something with four wheels that doesn't need a horse to pull it and that you aren't using, keep us in mind.

We are praying to connect with people and share what is really in our hearts. We need more support - for us and the work we do. Our deep desire is to partner with people with whom our vision resonates. And we would love to keep things real and open. Karl and I are both, uhm, proud people, and it has taken us a while to realise that we do not do a good job of making our needs known. Now we are learning to communicate our very real needs while trying to give people the freedom to meet them or not. It is a hard journey, one I have resented many times, but now am learning to embrace. It is part of our journey after all, and as with many things, necessary, but not evil. I am actually even getting excited about the whole need for support thing. That somehow, if it is a partnership of people that feel their hearts stirred by what we think He laid on ours, we can all be mutually blessed. Anyway, good things happening in my heart and attitude, which I am thankful for.

I know that many people are wondering what is happening with the olive farm, our projects here, the goats, etc. I will hopefully get to writing some about that soon. And yes, I know that you can post pictures on these fancy bloggy thingies, but just updating it is a huge step for me. So, once this technically challenged mama doesn't have to ask my hyper busy husband to post these things for me, I will work on the photos.

Look, a post, after two years of silence!

Beauty and Rest

We’ve been using a friend’s car and they come back soon so Saturday afternoon we took the chance and drove out of town, just to see some beauty and breathe. Fall is here in full force. Everywhere the colours are turning. The road we were on winds through the mountains, past green meadows speckled with flaming shrubs. The yellow and red on the mountainsides came to life in the afternoon light. I feel God’s presence differently when I am in nature. And my heart seems to rest. On our way back we stopped on the side of the road and walked into the forest far enough to feel as if we were days away from any sign of civilization. There was a small, clear stream that immediately drew us. Karl and Alianna built a dam and I kept Ezra from destroying it. We only went back because the sun was getting thin and we weren’t wearing enough clothes. It was such a blessing that we decided to invite some friends the next day and do it again. This time we went to the valley where the Banyan Tree is situated. It was even more beautiful. I want to move to that quiet valley with the river, hills and grassland dotted with yaks. It is only 20 minutes’ drive outside of town, so we will probably go again. Alianna definitely fell in love and wants to build a tree house by the river. 

Just a Few

You have not heard from us, because I really didn’t know what to write. In July we went to Thailand on a visa run, which was actually not bad. We got a 6 months double entry visa, which means that we are heading out of the country again at the end of this month. Right now we are planning to do a road trip (we are using a friend’s car) to the south of the province and head over to Laos again. It is the easiest and cheapest route and we have friends there, so we get to see them as well. The past three months saw a lot of ups and downs for us. We are really seeking Guidance in how to begin this business. In the end it is still just a “vehicle”. Our heart is to raise up locals to be able to produce safe food in a environmentally sustainable way while bringing true life to their communities. Right now we know three amazing people who fit that description. Only three, but it is a start. So how do we start a business that will fulfill all these requirements? We have no clue. We have a business plan and so many ideas. But in the end it will be one step at a time. Doing the next right thing. 

Business Baby Steps

Soon after we returned, Karl met with a potential investor for his business and had a very good time with him. He is interested in funding a pilot chicken project, which is a long story, but comes down to raising chickens on a small scale and in an environmentally friendly way, which might even improve the land it is raised on for grazing for other animals. I am not a farmer (just a farmer's wife, ha!), but I know that grazing here is terrible. When you see emaciated animals in September, after supposedly grazing on pasture all summer long, it is not difficult to conclude that the available pasture is not good quality. And then, if you have ever eaten Chinese chicken, you know why alternative ways of raising them would take off. They taste terrible. Chickens can also be a relatively easy small business enterprise for a small farmer with limited land and resources. Add to that the national concern for food safety and all kinds of scares about what is in animal feed, and you have a market for all the chickens that will hopefully soon be produced. This is just a pilot/trial project that will be part of the farm Karl is setting up with local believers. To begin a registered business, we still have a long way to go, we need $100 000 (US) and many capable people. Baby steps...

The end of the Road

In the meantime we lost the lease on the land where the goats were. Luke, who works for Karl, moved the goats to his own hometown. We actually went to Xia Ruo in September. Karl and Luke went to his village, at the end of the road in the valley (two days’ walk over the mountains to Benzilan, three days’ walk to Bai Mang Mountain, you get it, the end of the road). Beautiful, said Karl, but far. Luke’s family doesn’t hardly have any land, but the goats will be fed for the winter from hay and silage he made this summer and hopefully by spring we will have another option. In the meantime it is good for him to be with his parents. They are old and need help. At the same time they need Truth, Love and Grace. Maybe it is time for Luke to share the Life he found with his family. In the past they have not been very receptive. There are no believers over the age of 35 in that whole area and only a handful of younger ones. Pray for him to share with wisdom and gentleness. 

Life giving community

Over the last few months we have read through “Truefaced” and shared a lot of our thoughts, frustrations and struggles in a small group of friends. It has been challenging to be in true, open community, but it has also been tremendously good. Nothing is too awful to talk about. No situation is too hopeless. And every time when one of us cannot see the forest for the trees or feel that we are too deep in the ditch, the others gather around and remind us what Jesus did for us, who we are in Him and how we have new, pure hearts to live out of and a new Life to step into. Overwhelming despair or crippling struggles are so much easier to overcome with a fellowship of Believers being real, loving and gracious.  I need the Body. I need others who know that in this new life we can trust what God says about us and what He has accomplished and live accordingly. I would love to be that for those around me. 

Our Heavenly Father

Parenting has been challenging this last while. Actually, I think it has always been challenging for me. We have talked a lot about wanting the focus of our family and togetherness to be joy. Then I find myself really not living in it. I guess to impart a state of deep, restful joy in my relationship with my children, I have to experience that in my relationship with my Father first. And I don’t. Mostly I find myself striving, not resting. And when I feel like I have to strive for approval or experiencing my Father’s pleasure, rather than just resting in what He has already given, I expect striving from everyone around me. No-one is exempt. Not my wonderful husband and not my sweet children. I try to remember that we are all on a journey and God was not ignorant of my need for growth when He gave us Alianna and Ezra. And that their journeys are intertwined with mine. My Redeemer can redeem also my immaturity and the damage I feel it causes in my relationships. All the while He leads me to grow into who He says I am, now that I am hidden in Christ.

Visa...still waiting

Our visa situation hasn’t changed since we got back. The investor Karl met with earlier this year suggested that he tries to get involved with an (almost failing) olive farm in Kunming. He can help them get the farm back on track and they will try to help us with a visa. We have prayed a lot about this and felt hat it is the right thing to do for now. The board of directors wants to meet with Karl at the end of October before any final decisions are made. At the moment it looks like we will spend a few weeks in the year down there and then Karl might travel down between those times to train the workers on the farm in proper farming techniques. This is something that we will appreciate prayer for. For this to work it has to work for everyone involved and there seems to be a lot of details in it. Karl has always wanted to do something with olives here in our prefecture (sounds strange, but they actually have very old olive trees next to the river where it is lower and not so cold). So this will be a wonderful opportunity to get experience in this field. 

Trip to US

Christmas is two short months away. Frightening how quickly this year flew by. We are planning to go to the US in December and will be there until early February. Although we spent a year in South Africa, we haven’t been to the US in three years and we want to connect with supporters to share our needs and plans. It will also be good to reconnect with friends and family. The holidays are a bit of a crazy time to do that, but farmers have to be on their farms in summer, so it is the only option we have. If you are in the US and want to see us while we are there, or just want to say hi, contact us at 208 875 2275. It rings through to us here in China, 16 hours ahead of Pacific time.

In lifting up

If you are the type of person who wakes up in the middle of the night and takes that as an indication that you are to intercede, we need your prayers. If you are the type of person who fleetingly thinks of someone and shoots up a quick prayer, shoot one up for us. 

I think I am more convinced than ever before that we are not going to make it here without the prayers of others. For a long time we have felt overwhelmed and wanted to be ignorant of what might be going on around us in the unseen. Recently we have been prompted more to pray specifically into situations that can only be described as a battle. And sometimes I long for those ignorant times. The reality is that we have an enemy. But we also have victory. Pray for us to stand in that with His humility, wisdom and discernment. Pray for us to perservere.

For the past few years our trips between Shangri-La and Kunming has mostly been on a night bus. We did the day bus one time, but it was a challenge with Alianna bouncing all over the place and me carsick as can be. So, we decided that it might be the best option for now... or until we get our own vehicle. Night buses (or sleeper buses) are something that I have never seen before I came to China. Imagine a huge bus, like a Greyhound or Translux. When you step into it though, there are no seats (except for the driver’s), just bunks. Really narrow, mostly short bunks. The norm is to have three rows of these bunks, which leaves you with two aisles. Right at the back of the bus the bunks are next to each other to make one big bed. Oh, and there are upper and lower bunks, which means that somebody who is claustrophobic is probably better off taking the day bus. On the upper bunk you are close to the roof and on the lower bunks you have the upper bunks not too far above your face. On the newer buses the one aisle ends fairly quickly and there are then several rows of three bunks next to each other with only one aisle. If you know your neighbours, this isn’t so bad. If you don’t... well, let’s just say you will know them after 12 hours of laying spoons. On each bunk is a small pillow and a thick comforter.

The first thing that strikes many foreigners, is the distinctive sleeper bus smell. It is a little like dirty hair. Or dirty clothes... or dirty linen. Or all of those mixed with a generous dose of smelly feet (because you take your shoes off, you see). You make your way down the aisle, bumping against fellow travelers, hoping not to loose anything as you get to your bunk. As a family we always get the back bunks. That way we are together and we can get a window, important for more reasons than just the smell. I always find it a bit challenging to get into a crowded bus with Alianna on my back, our bag with food, our personal bags and the bag with the sheets (the reason for taking sheets will be explained shortly).

Alianna loves, loves the bus. If she is not on my back she will jump on the first bunk and take off her shoes. Then I have to put her shoes back on, because there is no way that she can walk down the aisle on her socks only, hoping that the person with the cigarette waiting behind me won’t set my hair on fire. When we finally get to our bunks, we take off our shoes, yell at Alianna not to touch the comforter or the pillows, try to put our bags in such a way that they will not be opened and emptied of their contents in the event of us actually falling asleep, lay down the clean sheets over Alianna’s bed and the places where our heads will be and then try to get comfortable. I normally take a small blanket for Alianna as well, but we just use the comforters. When you unfold your blanket it is good to find out which side was used at the previous passenger’s head. If it isn’t obvious at first glance, the feet smell will normally let you know if you have the wrong side anywhere near your nose. In the summer we don’t use the blankets much, but in the winter even the smelly ones are welcome. One can only wear so many layers.

So the bus finally pulls out of the station (we like getting the seven o’clock bus), it gets dark and we are on the highway. If you are coming from Kunming, sleep is not far away while you are on the wide, straight highway. Starting from the Shangri-La side is a bit winding and bumpy, so getting to finally rest isn’t so easy. The one problem with staying asleep is the bumps. Chinese highways might look nice, but there is something about road construction here that leaves a newly paved road still very bumpy. Even the main highways in our province. Being in the back we normally feel these bumps more than otherwise. So much so that we are airborne many times during the journey. I am not exaggerating, you literally are in the air, especially if the driver is going fast.

There is a Chinese law that prohibits smoking on public transport. I kid you not. No-one living in China would guess this. People always smoke on the buses. So, that is where having a window by your bunk becomes very important. As soon as we smell smoke, Karl normally goes to the person who is smoking and ask them to open their window. If they are very close to us we inform them of the law. I have gotten so annoyed that I have told people that it is a shame that a foreigner knows the laws of the country better than a local person. That doesn’t work though, just makes people angry... as can be expected. The last trip we were on we shared the bus with a whole bunch of army guys. Just as the leader started to hand out cigarettes to his buddies (sometimes Chinese generosity is a real bother, because now one guy feels like smoking and the whole bus lights up with him), Karl went to him and asked him very nicely to please make sure that no-one smokes, because it is the law. Ha! It really worked. Very funny. When we stopped at a gas station they couldn't get off the bus fast enough to get some nicotine. They all stood behind the bathrooms, smoking like school boys. That is until one of the gas station attendants yelled at them for smoking at a gas station. “It is really dangerous, are you crazy?!”

The last bus we took was brand new. It didn’t smell bad, it looked clean and even though it was air-conditioned, it had a window at the back. I was so excited, until I lay down, that is. We were leaving Zhongdian and the road is very windy. I was rolling over Karl or Alianna, depending on which way we turned. And every little bump in the road felt horrible. Karl and I didn’t sleep at all. Alianna finally managed to dose off long after ten. At four o’clock we had to get off on the side of the road, because our destination was actually about three hours before Kunming, but that is a different story. We drove the last ten minutes in the front of the bus and that was when we realised that the whole bus is very bumpy, not just the back. So much for the new buses.

Road travel in China keeps a person’s pr life alive. Narrow roads without shoulders, wild drivers, crowded buses and big, blue trucks that often have no tail lights all make the roads more dangerous than you would be used to in our home countries. Next time you travel far, say a prayer for us.

Much love

Karl, Ida and Alianna

I had someone ask me this question and thought I would post the conversation here as it seems like an interesting topic.
I also have a question about churches-Do you guys go to a church and, if so, what is it like? I ask because a friend has been telling me about the church he has been going to in Beijing that is exclusively for foreigners. They check your ID to make sure you are a foreigner so that no native Chinese people can attend. Are the only legal churches for Chinese people those that are run by the state? Anyway, I was just wondering what it is like for you over there.


About your question. The government policy on church for foreigners here is that you can meet together as long as nationals do not attend. They will let a national who is married to a foreigner attend. Although this sounds restrictive I see it as a very good policy. What happens is that this opens a door for national leadership to actually lead their own fellowships. I work with a number of locals who lead their own groups. They are able to take on leadership and not depend on foreign help or control. I help to disciple the leadership, encourage them and if there are problems to help them think of solutions. If I leave the group will continue to go on without outside leadership. Now even the Chinese are using this model when they go to new places and start new groups.
Although there is a legal church here called the three self church there are also a lot of other groups and networks called house groups. As foreigners we are allowed to attend the three self church as long as we do not have a leadership role in the meeting times. We have done so when we lived in Kunming but there are no three self churches here. Every area varies as to what the religious affairs bureau will allow and how much pressure they might put on people who are in home groups. In our area a lot of pressure comes because this is a Buddhist area so the community will put pressure on people who are believers. This is always greater in rural areas. I have friends who are denied gov. help and we think it is because of their faith. I also know people who have been arrested. They are people who really trust the Lord and spend very little time thinking about what the government might do to them. With my work I am looking at ways to train these people in agriculture so they can be a greater service to their communities and share the love of Gd with people who might not otherwise listen to them.
We meet here with other ex-expatriates on Sundays. It is a small group of people and we all take turns hosting and sharing. It is more relaxed than what you might be used to. For us the focus in on encouraging each other in the Lord. With different people sharing and leading each week according to their own style. We have a large diversity of the body of Christ represented.
I hope this answers your question. If you have others let me know.
Karl

Tibetan home

This is Beatiful Snow Mountain, it has never been climbed and is a holy mountain in Tibetan Buddhism.

This is a view looking south along the upper reaches of the Mekong river. There are people farming the steep hillsides all along this river.