A Traveling Circus

I wrote this two weeks ago but did not get an opportunity to post it. We did delay our travel plans but still got to see almost everyone we wanted to see in the Seattle area. We still have a lot of traveling and visiting to do, so most of what I wrote still applies. And at the moment getting to sit down and write something happens rarely, so why waste a perfectly good, mostly finished post.

The day is halfway and my children are watching a DVD. Again. I am scrambling to pack clothes, sort through our foodstuff and make sure that I have toys and snacks somewhere that I can reach it. See, we are on our way again. This time we are heading to the west coast of the US. Except that there is a tremendous amount of snow everywhere on every road and we don’t really feel comfortable driving in these conditions with our children. This is the only week-end in which we can see a very dear friend of ours. He is an old China hand as well and is planning to drive up to Seattle to see us. If we get there. So, while Karl runs some last errands (we hope) before we leave for the coast, I shoveled snow for the first time in my life and yelled at each of my children numerous times already. I hate traveling. Really, I do. I hate having to try and get ready, with all of our dietary restrictions and consequent food boxes. I hate the long time in the car with my children complaining, crying or shrieking at the top of their lungs. I hate having to stay in a new place every four nights. And as much as I am blessed by seeing different people every day and catching up on all that happened in the past three years, I do not enjoy having to navigate conversations while keeping my kids from destroying the house of our host, because yet again they are not sure what the boundaries of this new place are. And besides the boundary issue, they just act up in general. Look, my children are probably wilder than the average American child, what with growing up in the Wild West, I realize that. But, they are not brats. And when we travel, they act like brats. They throw tantrums, are purposely disobedient, cry, scream, whine and speak disrespectfully… or more so than what they usually do. Some days they are sweet and charming, because they both like making new friends, but not being stable does take a toll on them.  I try to keep perspective and not cave under my perceived pressure of other people’s judgment. I try to remember that my worth as a person and parent is not dependent on my children’s behavior and I try to not flip out myself. But some days I crack a little. Today is one of those days. So now I am taking a minute to breathe, drink some tea, write and get perspective. I pray that Father will take my heart and remind me that I am not a raving, yelling, angry lunatic, but that I am a loving, caring mother. I need His help to calm my frazzled nerves and be the calming presence my children need to help them through this transition to the new place, new people and new experiences. I need to thrive and rest, today, in this craziness so that my children can thrive.

So, if we visit you and my children’s behavior leaves much to desired, please be patient with them. They miss our home. They miss their Nana and Papa’s home. They are transitioning.  And if you can spare a prayer for them, please do.